pestilence: (Default)
pestilence ([personal profile] pestilence) wrote on November 5th, 2012 at 07:13 pm
 You know besides the reoccurring swine dreams the lightening bolt incident has had the most wonderful impact on my life. I became a superstar, quite literally and figuratively. My flesh was glowing like nuclear radiation in some low budge propaganda cartoon they used to play on Sundays. And people all over the town knew my name from the local news. 
(Lightening Bolt Man)

Every since last Tuesday animal trials have been trendy in all the popular social media cults. People have actually been lining up the court house waiting hours to make outrageous claims against their neighbor's cats. One lady recently interviewed by the news reporter with the blond hair and the fak-. Oh wait. You're not suppose to know about that yet. 
Anyway. People have been persecuting their animals and grandmothers... Of course, you know their grandmother's animals and law school has actually become a lucrative career choice again if one does not mind speaking in tongues and varying pitches to keep the jury entertained and the viewers at home tuned in because last week the district courts ratings had dropped and the mayor was not pleased. 
Next thing you know he'll be granting zombies enfranchisement, like they are debating in 3rd world england currently. How absurd? 
So, animals have rebelled. Lap cats have become hermits, strays have begun recruiting, which has reeked havoc on Dr.Auth's latest experiment about the ratio of strays in a town relates to the number of arsonists. 
"Those who mock the justice system, will not reap it's benefits" The spokes person for anti-protest group Shut Up and Pay, responses on Faux News at 11. The organization later cries libel, claiming that it was not 11 when the news aired, rather it was 10:58. Needless to say the court is relieved to have been distracted from their important work for something more, normal. 
(Animal Trials) 
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